No Rapture? No Surprise.

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I’ve grown so weary of End Times madness. Having been raised in Pentecostal-charismatic churches, I heard all sorts of Last Days prophecies and “this generation!” kind of stuff. It was so scandalous, so disillusioning, and it left me with some serious psychological scarring. To pluck just one wicked fruit from that old-time gospel tree, I was stuck watching “Thief in the Night” (the original “Left Behind” series) as a tween in youth group… entirely unbeknownst to my parents… in the middle of the night… in an otherwise dark room… during a lock-in. I had terrible recurring nightmares for years after that! But such trauma is of little (or no) worry to those wild-eyed weirdos whose endgame amounts to little more than “scaring the hell OUT OF YOU for Jesus’ sake!”  (Selah)

It’s the same song & dance every time, though… every. single. time! “These are like unto the days of Noah! The signs are all aligned! Repent or perish!” Seriously, just look at their Web sites, for crying out loud! It’s like looking at a carbon copy of a carbon copy of a carbon copy!

It’d all be so scary if it just wasn’t so damn sad.

So whenever I hear guys like Mark Blitz, Franklin Graham, the Dimond brothers, or John Hagee feverishly flipping through their sacred pages in hopes of finding “these our tumultuous times” anywhere in “the signs,” I remind myself just how crazy it is to ever wonder, “Oh, I guess maybe ol’ Harold Camping & Ellen G. White were actually on to something after all!” — especially after everything I’ve experienced! To me, that a pretty good reason to keep calm… and to move on.

Sure, it’s true that the old “But it coooooould happen!” canard occasionally rears its scary little head… but I’ve gotten pretty good at playing whack-a-mole.

From the outskirts of sanity,
— Jeremiah

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